In case you cannot tell, I am a busy and happy Mom. Thus, my blog(s) have gone to the wayside. I will try and update this one as I can and my other blog about loosing Keith will continue to be available mainly for those that include it others on stillbirth. They have helped me and now I will reciprocate. A stillbirth is a difficult and lonely feeling. Grief is the deepest expression of love. I am so fortunate for my painful, yet rewarding experience.
Now on to the crazy Merksters.
Sophia is now 4 1/2 months weighing 10lbs Yahoo! She loves her bright colored toy, her binkie (lots of binkie time), and her hands, yep the whole hand in her mouth.
Kayla is making waves with her gymnastic abilities and is loving starting piano. First grade is fun, but her favorite part is lunch
Eric, my 4th grader continues to work hard in school. It doesn't come easy, but he is not a quitter. He will be beginning gymnastic competition. He loves his masquerade dance (don't ask him to play anything else).
Trevor, is glad to be back at Farr West Elem for 6th grade. He is already spending weekends with 'friends', playing soccer, and teasing his siblings. He is a pretween without a doubt. Good thing we loved him before this stage.

I've included some pictures of 4 months Sophia and Yellowstone. I'm sorry I suck at keeping blogs updated. I really like reading others.

Welcome Sophia May

It has been quite the past 4 days. On Thursday, May 27, Steve, Kayla,and I met for my doctor appointment. There were some decreased fetal heart tones, and the doctors sent me over to labor and delivery for a contraction stress test. Just as they were setting me up for the test, the nurses noticed a drastic decreased heart rate with a Braxton hick contraction. I was on the phone (talking to my folks who were in Washington) when I felt the minor contraction and saw the decel of the heart rate on the computer. The nurses came rushing in saying, we’re not going to do the test and that I was going to be rushed in for an emergency c-section. I had to call Steve who had just taken Kayla to work with him, to come back now! He ran home, checked Trevor out of school, had a neighbor watch over Kayla and Trevor, until Eric got home from school, grabbed the camera and was back at the hospital within 30 minutes for your birth. We were both shocked how and where things turned went so scary. While lying on the OR table, I said a prayer. I had this overwhelming feeling that Keith and baby Angel were saying goodbye to you. I thought back of how hard it was for me to say good bye to them, and now they were saying goodbye to you. This feeling that she would come here alive helped me through the C-section. I have to thank Sophie, for the extra jolts of faith with this pregnancy.

Sophia May was born May 27, 2010 at 2:59 PM weighing 3 lbs 12 oz and 16 ½” long. Steve and I were in awe over everything that was taking place so fast. We were both praying that we could hear you cry. And once she arrived and let out a wail, we felt like the luckiest parents in the world. I got a quick look at you, then the NICU staff immediately took her and began working on you. I lied there on the table overcome with joy for your safe and miraculous arrival. My Mom flew home that night from Seattle. Just when you think you know what you're doing as a parent, we get this little one with her grand entrance. I now know how painful a c-section is. I am also aware of emotions surrounding a NICU baby. All in all we're surrounded by the love of family and friends who have wished us well with this beautiful baby girl.
I'll keep trying to upload some pictures. For some reason, it is very slow on the hospital wifi.

Over Easter break, we took the kids to San Diego. I had a conference in Vegas, so it worked out quite nice. We went to the Flower fields in Carlsbad, CA. The Rannicules flower was in bloom and it was lovely to see such colors along with the ocean in the background. I've always loved the ocean, but since Keith, it is my respite. Nothing can settle me more than the sounds and view of the ocean. We took the kids to Sea World and Discovery Museum. All in all a wonderful trip. Have I mentioned I love my family???

Ok, I've been having technical difficulties (mainly remembering my zillion passwords and what is what). So somehow I am on and can now post and thought I better do it fast. The pregnancy continues to progress smoothly, (minus PUPP (major rash covering body))I am so grateful for that. After I lost Keith, I remember thinking I can conquer anything, I've buried a child. I remind myself that comment as life will and is continuing to go on. I will never stop living, but will take more time to stop and smell the roses.
We've had some celebrations in our household. We had Merkster day. This is a day we ALL must put on a game or activity and everyone must participate. We even get rewards (chose by the host of the game) it was a lot of fun. It's held in March (usually spring break), so that is why everything is brown.

Update: Ok for those of you who did not know. We are happily expecting another Merkster due June 29. We found out that this little one is a GIRL. I'd post a picture, but this gal wasn't very photogenic and I don't think she'd appreciate having her legs (and what's not in between) showing to the world as her first picture.
We're working on names. We've decided on a middle name of May (after the month of her Angel brother Keith), but are working on a first name. I like names that end in 'ah or uh' sound like Sophia or Alyssa. I love the name Sophia, but can't stand the way Kayla says SOOOFEEyah.
Any suggestions???